Sunday, September 7, 2014

I love javascript.

On a related note, some idle practice exercises have now provided the Jayne Hat Pattern 2.0 - now with automated calculations, all thanks to javascript. This is making me think about writing other calculators, like a simple sock calculator . . . if only I knew more about socks.

Friday, May 17, 2013

I'm not dead yet

Ah, nothing like resurrecting a long-dead medium.  I guess I just got bored with having a blog.

In the past two years a lot of things have happened.  My last post was just after I started my work as a programmer.  It was before my epilepsy was diagnosed, which has been a whole other pile of shit to deal with.

But I've still been knitting, playing video games, doing the things I like.  And I have a huge backlog of things I could have been writing about and sharing but didn't.  A lot of items that I could have written up as patterns but was too lazy to do it.

Here's one example:  the evolutionist's baby toy!  Although it's really easy, it pretty much doesn't require a pattern at all, so this is more of a tutorial.

I present to you the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

(artist's impression)

Sport or fingering weight yarn in an off-white color
Yarn in some kind of brown wool
A piece of something semi-stiff - wire, plastic foam sheets, whatever, to hold up the eye stalks
Plastic eyes, if his noodly appendage driveth you so
A sharp needle with a big enough eye for yarn
Washing machine or a needle felter
Patience or one of these cool bastards

The Embellish-knit is basically a tiny knitting machine with four latch hooks.  You feed in the yarn correctly and turn the crank and out comes a truly ridiculous amount of 4-stitch i-cord.  I bought one as a whim, years ago, and this is pretty much the only interesting thing I've done with it since I had it.

So get it started with the off-white yarn.  I made it work with really light worsted - fisherman's wool - but anything heavier than that will jam the machine.  Make sure to weight the yarn coming out the bottom appropriately - it comes with a tiny little clip-on weight thing that is not near heavy enough for my tastes.  If it's not weighted enough the needles won't grab it and it'll get wonky and fall out of the machine.  .  Find something heavier you can tie it to - it doesn't have to be huge.  I think I used a roll of duct tape.  Now spin that crank until you have a lot of i-cord, a pile of i-cord - 15 feet of i-cord, at least, and more if you want him to be really noodley.  It doesn't take all that long, but if you feel the need for speed or you are channeling Tim Allen and feel that your work just doesn't have enough testosterone yet, I'd recommend this high-tech method shared by 1klik6.

Or, if you are Catholic and have been looking for a penance, you can knit it all by hand!

You need at least three longish pieces so you can make them separately if you like; I didn't want to bother so I just did the whole thing in one go.  It spins as it comes out the bottom of the machine so you have to let it hang freely.  As I made more cord I just bundled and tied it up to keep it off the floor.

Now it's time to make yourself some balls - even if you've got a pair, you need two more for this.  You could knit or crochet a ball, but I just rolled up the brown yarn into a ball and needle felted it around.  You could also throw a couple of rolled-up balls into the washing machine, but make sure they are bigger than you want and maybe wrap em in a piece of panty hose or something to make sure they don't come apart.

Start assembling the main body.  If you have one long i-cord, cut it into pieces and thread the loose end of the yarn through the four exposed stitches on each side of the cut. I had one really long piece to serve as the two main noodles, and two other pieces to serve as body and shorter noodles.  This part is really easy and sort of free-form.  I started with one piece looped into a figure eight, where the holes in the 8 were just big enough to cradle the meatballs, then I tacked the balls onto the noodles with a few strands of the white yarn. You need that sharp needle to poke into the meatballs.

Shape the piece of something pointy into the eyestalk holders.  Bend a piece of wire into a U, or cut a piece of stiff material into that shape.  It has to be narrow enough to fit inside the i-cord.  Slip a short piece of i-cord over it and fix it in place between the meatballs.  At this point you could attach googley eyes or beads or something, I just knitted small balls atop the eyestalks and embroidered pupils onto them.

Now here comes the artistic part where this becomes really you - loop the noodles around however the fuck you want.  It's that simple!  Once you've got them good, you can tack some of them in place too, so he won't just unravel.  Leave at least two longer ones and let the ends of the shorter ones poke out here and there to get that really realistic noodly look.

And there you have it.  Your very own tribute to the gods of Evolution.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

King of the Bean

I got a copy of Fallout: New Vegas for my birthday. While I've always found post-apocalyptic books and movies to be mostly just depressing, something about Fallout 3 and now New Vegas is a little different. I feel much the same way about Portal. There's something I find compelling, horrifying and fascinating at the same time, about the decline of these huge corporate complexes, the tinfoil hat paranoia of the 1960s which in many ways proves to be all too true, the savage nature of people who can sit back and watch truly horrific things occurring. This last especially is more implicit in Portal, seeing as how one must assume the directives were programmed into the system by people at some point . . . and the various observation windows scattered around the test chambers, that clearly weren't placed there for the AI's benefit.

In the Fallout series it is a lot more direct. There are crazy people in the wastelands, gangs, people who don't care about anything but themselves, very Mad Max. There are people living in towns who act like a family from a 50's sitcom and commit terrible acts in secret. And there's Vault-Tec, the company who created the Vaults, in which a number of people survived the nuclear holocaust. A more in-depth explanation of the story is here, but in short, each Vault (there were only 122 built, despite the large population of pre-war America) is a sociological experiment designed to learn more about human nature. Completely aside from issues of 'normal' scientific ethics, many of these experiments resulted in truly awful things.

The games are both set in various places in post-war America, a few hundred years from now, where the player gets to travel around on their own, but Vaults still play a role in the game. In Fallout 3 you start out in one, and in both games, there are several you can find.

Ok, now for anyone who hasn't played the game, go out and buy it and play it first - right now, stop reading this post. Seriously. I mean it. It's for your own good. I don't exactly give a spoiler, but it's enough that I wouldn't have wanted to read it before I played through it.

Vault 11, in New Vegas, is a really intriguing story. You enter the vault, and find election posters for the Overseer Elections - where everyone is campaigning NOT to be elected. You have to search through the vault to discover more about what happened here, and the picture that forms is very, very grim. When I first entered Vault 11, I thought to myself, 'What could make someone not want to be elected?' Obviously there must be some negative consequence to being Overseer.

As an aside, I am a huge fan of Terry Pratchett books. The more I read them, the more I realize that they have huge substance and thoughtfulness underneath the interesting storylines and hilarious writing. Every time I reread one, I get more out of it than I had the previous time (I will be really sad when eventually this stops happening, as I suppose it must when I've gotten to 20 or 30 reads). One thing that Terry has done, way moreso than I had first realized, is incorporate a lot of historical and mythological references in his work. Plenty of these are things I don't know because I'm just not a history or literature buff; a few I don't know because I'm not British. Reading The Folklore of Discworld, a discussion of many of those references, opened my eyes to a lot of them. Anyway, in several of the books, and in the Folklore, Pratchett references The King of the Bean, which is something many people have heard of, but far fewer know its origins, apparently. And again, I'm not going into them here. I told you to stop reading a while ago, and you didn't listen. Once you've played at least that far in Fallout: New Vegas, then you can google it, or even better, buy your own copy of The Folklore.

King of the bean, indeed. I was right. And the entire story, all put together, made me feel like I'd been punched in the gut. One example I can compare it to is the first time you saw the Matrix, or the Sixth Sense, and when the reveal came, it hit you hard. Now those movies are as much jokes as they are taken seriously, but I still remember how amazing they were the first time through.

So far I'd been enjoying F:NV well enough, but this is something else entirely. This little piece of the game, at least, is thought provoking. And fucking creepy.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Immortal Life

I'm not a cell biologist, so I haven't ever done cell work. But among cell biologists, who hasn't used a HeLa strain at some point? From what I know about it, I would imagine that it's one of the first things that cell biology students are given to play around with. And even if you don't do cell biology, if you do any molecular biology, you certainly read about it - examples in text books, papers on experiments done with it, etc. I'd heard about HeLa my entire schooling and never once thought about what it meant or where the name came from - why should I care, either? It's not like the names of individual Drosophila lines are particularly illuminating. Most of them name the physical place the flies were originally collected from wild populations, or in the case of some others in our lab, they're just numbers.

I got a Kindle for Christmas this year and I absolutely love it, which is a whole other post; but anyway, one of the books I recently read was The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. For the first time, I learned where most cell lines get their names. For the first time, I learned in a manner that felt nearly first-hand, more about the things that were done to people in the name of science, as short as fifty years ago. I'd heard about the Tuskeegee experiments, just about every scientist has, even if they aren't in the medical field, but reading such a direct and painful description of the way things were . . . it's hard. Did you have to read Upton Sinclair's 'The Jungle' when you were in high school? I did, and it really upset me. I used my normal trick of reminding myself that it was a work of fiction, and besides, this was a compilation of every single bad thing that could happen to an immigrant family all happening to these characters. It only made it partially better, because I knew those things really did happen.

But reading this book, you can't tell yourself that it's okay because it didn't happen. It's like reading the Jungle but knowing that these people were real, that they worked and suffered and were lied to and then died. I don't want to give away the particulars of the book, because it's a really, really good read, and anyone who is interested in science or medical ethics should read it for themselves. But if you are like me, then be prepared for the horrible realizations that come with it.

That's just the way things were done. Maybe I could have been one of those privileged doing my work without regards to people or their rights, if I had been born sixty years ago. Maybe I wouldn't have seen how awful it was at the time either, even though my mind rebels at that idea. How many things do we allow because 'that's just the way it is'? Are there things we do today that will be considered atrocities in fifty years? I can think of a few things about society as a whole, but of course I would like to think there is nothing I, personally, do that falls under that. Wouldn't everyone?

Also, it reminds me of why cancer is so very creepy to me. Not just because it's deadly, and we still have inadequate treatment options even today - no, cancer frightens me because of what it represents. Cancer is a part of you that has declared mutiny. A part of you that refuses to cooperate, that seeks an independent existence from the organism it should be a part of. Of course, I'm anthropomorphizing, and doing it to a clump of cells, for added ridiculousness. It's much more like the concept of an industrial robot on an assembly line losing some of its built-in regulations and doing its particular job as much as it possible can, without regards to where it fits in the total assembly line of building a product, like spot welding 37 hood ornaments on to one car's hood, instead of the normal one-per-car it should be producing.

But changing the analogy doesn't frighten me any less. And knowing that I'm not one of those people now, that we don't do that to people any longer in the name of research, doesn't take away my shame that I still get to benefit from the results of such research.


I started a new job last Monday, something that's kind of weird considering my previous work and skillset - an ASP.NET programmer for a state agency. When I have a master's degree in Evolutionary Biology. Yep.

I always liked programming and I've done enough of it throughout my biology career that they thought I was a good fit - and apparently they like to get people and train em up right, so they don't care that I didn't actually know what ASP.NET even was when I started on Monday. I've spent most of my first week studying, and while I don't think I could whip out an awesome web-based application with ease just yet, I at least have one really important thing down: now I know much better what it is that I don't know and need to learn. Things felt much more overwhelming before I knew the enormity of my own ignorance. Also, now I know where to look to find much of it, or at least where to start, and who I can ask for more help.

It feels weird to think of that as an accomplishment, but I kinda do. And I'm so excited about all of this.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

We can knit if we want to

Alternate title: notion tins and why they are a good idea

I like modularity. I always strive for organization, though I rarely achieve it. I have perhaps twenty WIPs, in various stages of completion. Some of them are in nice, cute zipper bags (most of them are in less cute ziploc bags, but I'm slowly growing my collection). While I like to always have one or two with me, I also like to not have to worry about things like 'Do I have everything I need for this project?' I like to be able to grab their project bags and go. But if I'm not careful, I can leave home with a project, and while I'm working on it realize that I REALLY NEED a certain tool - and not have one anywhere in sight. This is dangerous business.

This drove me crazy, until I came up with a solution. Now I forget where I first read this tip, but it has served me well - to make an emergency tin with a few notions in it, and take it everywhere you go - and I must point out that that particular concept has been mentioned all over the place. It's certainly not my idea. But I have adapted this to work with my 'system' (does it make it more organized if I call it a system?) of WIP storage, basically by making a crapload of tins with inexpensive supplies.

I collect candy tins. Altoids one are perfect, although there are plenty of others that will also work. Anything that is small and closes securely is a good candidate for this. Then, I just fill each tin with a set of useful supplies:

-Stitch markers - I make these myself so I have as many as I need, but there are lots of inexpensive substitutions. Small 'ouchless' plastic hair elastics work great, and you don't have to care if you lose them.
-A finishing needle, usually threaded on a several-inch piece of yarn so I won't lose it easily. I normally use large sewing needles instead of dull tapestry needles for this - I like to be able to split the plies sometimes when working ends in, and I also like having a needle that can double as a cable key for my knitpicks interchangeables.
-A small measuring tape
-Some kind of cutter. I have several pairs of cuticle scissors that became too dull for cuticle use, but make excellent yarn snippers, and fit in the tins.
-A few bobby pins - these make good impromptu stitch holders, and they will not fall out of your work. I imagine you could even cable off them, although I usually just cable without using a needle these days.
-A few feet of some smooth fingering weight yarn to use for holding larger sets of stitches
-Rubber bands - these make cheap and good point protectors

Keeping one of these in each project bag is a great way to ensure I will always have the notions I need. I'll admit that I do not have as many tins as I do WIPs, only the more portable ones, which I might actually take somewhere with me, usually get tins. If you have a more reasonable number, then this is even easier to do. So if you happen to know any men without hats, and you feel the altruistic urge to make them one, now you can do it in safety, anywhere.

Site redesign!

. . . if by redesign, you mean, 'I decided my homemade custom background and whatnot looked amateurish and unpleasant, so I chose my favorite out of the available default templates'. Which is pretty much what happened.

I'm a knitter, not an html coder, and not even a particularly good blogger. I decided I'd rather this looks okay with minimal effort from me, than it continues to look bad with no effort, or I update it and get it exactly how I want it (I assume this would require a great deal of effort to do it right).

Anyway, I've been thinking about why I bother having a blog and what it's good for. I like explaining things to people, so a lot of my posts have been sort of 'how to' statements, but I would also like for it to be entertaining. I've been spending more time on Ravelry's I Blog group, and it's given me some things to think about.

Expect more posts soon.